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What You’ve Been Dying To Know…

July 29, 2011

Did you guys think that with my two day absence from ye olde blog, that I would possibly return with exciting news? Or a possible Tuberculosis diagnosis? Well, neither of those things happened and I apologize. Well, not so much for not having TB because who wants a 19th century lung disease in 2011? Not I.

I do apologize for having only the following post to entertain you with. (Look, I’ve been super busy with work and strong-arming people into memes. I didn’t have time for blogging. But I do now! I’ve caught myself up and verbally abused someone into submission. We’re good!)

As I sat here and racked my brain for something even mildly interesting to post, the only thing I could come up with was What’s In My Purse. I know. One of those posts. You probably haven’t ever thought in your however-many years of existence, “Man, I really want to know what’s in Whitney’s purse!” And that’s ok. But since it’s all I could come up with, this is what you’re getting.

1. Well, if it isn’t obvious… these are my keys. I know! I bet you can hardly sit still! My lovely little UK key was a gift from Mike when he bought me a key to my own house. I know… Why didn’t I have a key to my house? I have no idea. I had a garage door opener and I just went through life assuming I would never need to get in my front door. I was wrong. Having a key to my house is glorious!  Plus, my car is one of those push-button starts so I never have to actually have my keys out. They just have to be rolling around in my purse somewhere. These bad boys rarely leave the comfort of the bottom of my purse.

2. My child and her love for all things miniature… I kid you not when I say she will get more play out a McDonald’s Happy Meal toy than a giant stuffed animal from Toys ‘R Us. Sweet! An incredibly unhealthy but inexpensive way to keep my child entertained!  (Those are both MHM toys that she has held onto for ages.) There’s always at least two in my purse.

3. Evie’s sunglasses. There’s really not much more to say other than… Nope. I was right. That’s all there is to say.

4. You are jealous of my incredibly fancy and high-end hairbrush, aren’t you? It’s ok. I figured you would be. This guy’s a perfect size to fit in my purse but not too flimsy for the horse hair I have sprouting out of my head. That thing is durable too! It’s been residing in my purse for about 3 years now.

5. Blue DumDums. There is a doctor at work who is seriously about 80 years old. When I first started working at UK over 4 years ago, he saw a picture of Evie and asked me how old she was and what was her favorite color. Evie was in a blue phase so that was what I told him. To this day he still stops by my office with gifts for Evie, all of the blue variety. He’s been on a DumDums kick as of late so my purse is constantly stocked with blue lollipops.

6. I paint my nails a lot. It’s sort of a vicious cycle that goes something like this: Paint nails, wear for 2 days, get chip in nail, ignore chip for 3 days, touch up nails,  notice more chips, ignore more chips, one week later take nail polish off, convince myself my nails have absorbed the color and are now tinted pink, green, orange, etc. Repaint nails. Sometimes I don’t go that long. Like this week? I’ve painted my nails 3 times. ANYWAYS, my point is that those Sally Hansen nail pens are the bomb. Their quick, not messy at all, and easy to use. So, they live in my purse. Well, I rotate them depending on what color I’m wearing so I can touch them up.

7. My current lip gloss collection is at a BARE MINIMUM. I only have 4 tubes in my purse at the moment and that is good for me. The Burt’s Bees tinted lip balm is in the top spot for favorite right now. The E.L.F tube is a close second though and 99% of the time I slick on a quick coat of that over top of the BB lip balm.

8. Delicious Trident Layers… Strawberry Mango… “Nobody every pays me in gum… *Frowny face.” If you don’t know what that line’s from, Google it. Gives me a chuckle every time I see that sad little Asian man.

9. The main wallet (or billfold, if I was 80). I used to scoff at these things because they’re just so big! I don’t want to lug that around! It takes up too much room! But then… Evie got me one for Christmas and I will never, ever, ever return to a smaller wallet. Do you know how much stuff that thing holds?! I should have opened it but then you would have seen my God-awful license picture where my head looks as though it’s been inflated and my cheeks look like some that a Care Bear might be sporting so just no on that whole idea. But the wallet? It’s fantastic.

10. I am terrible about forgetting to put on deodorant in the mornings while getting ready. It seriously never crosses my mind and most of the time, I don’t need it. Which sounds gross and you’re probably thinking, “Whitney! EVERYONE needs deodorant!” And I used to be firmly parked in the “You are disgusting if you don’t wear deodorant” camp! I swear! But then I realized a good 80% of the time, I forget to put mine on… and I don’t smell bad. In fact, the most common compliment I get is that I smell delightful. SO take that, naysayers! Anyways, I keep a spare stick of the ol’ B.O. killer in my purse just in case I get stuck outside on a hot day. Or if I decide to join in on Zumba at lunch. Then I feel like I *would* need it.

11. The mini-wallet… As much stuff as the main wallet holds, I still have a little spillage… SO, for the extra cards, they go in the mini wallet. (No, they’re not for credit cards. I don’t own a single credit card. It’s for insurance cards, PLUS Account cards for work, etc. Just in case you were worried that I have a serious spending addiction…)

12. For some reason, unbeknownst to me or anyone else, for that matter, I still have the boarding passes from our vacation back in June stuck in my purse… I didn’t get this purse until July so apparently they made it through the transfer… Why? Your guess is as good as mine but this is a post about what’s in my purse so I didn’t feel like I could lie…

13. That’s the card that came with Mike’s flowers that he brought me to work during my birthday week. Mike always writes something sweet on a card when he gives me a gift and I keep them all. This one just happens to be living in my purse for the time being. I’m ok with it.

SO? How do you feel about possibly the most exciting post that has ever graced the pages of QuipWhit??? Ok. Enough of this. Get out of here. Go enjoy your weekend. OR! Tell me what’s in your purse! I happen to be nosy and love purse posts.

Happy Friday!

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. July 29, 2011 2:47 pm

    How big is your purse for God’s sake? Do you want to know what is in mine? Nothing. Because all I brought with me to work today was my phone and a tiny card holder with my debit card and driver’s license. Oh, and my sunglasses; but they live on my head. How can we even be friends? I must say that it does explain why you a) smell better than me and b) look better than me all the time. So I guess I’ll keep you and your giant purse as friends. Who knows, maybe something out of the kitchen sink you carry around will come in handy for me sometime.
    🙂

    • July 29, 2011 3:44 pm

      Maybe I’ll be a great friend when we’re out somewhere and you’ll be all, “Hey can you put this in your purse? Mine’s too small.” and I’ll do it but not before I give you a smile that simply says, “See?”

  2. July 29, 2011 3:16 pm

    Lets see, I have a three year old soooo… toys are a must, and then I have every piece of quick medical equipment (Barbie band-aids , neosporin, hydro-cortisone), an epi-pen (the small one is dealthy allergic to all nuts), large wallet (I, sadly, have the credit cards), Advil Allergy medicine, sunglasses and case, napkins (you never know), kleenex, and a whole host of other stuff that would make me a huge winner on Let’s Make a Deal. Seriously. Sunscreen? Who needs sunscreen in an office all day long? I do, apparently.

    • July 29, 2011 3:35 pm

      Yes, Lesley but should you get caught in a solar flare you’ll be mildly prepared. I’ll only have my sunglasses to protect me. You are the clear winner in that situation.

    • July 29, 2011 3:54 pm

      Why is my name on there twice? Am I now the little man from Little Caesars? Sheesh. Crazy computers.

      • July 29, 2011 4:00 pm

        I thought you were going with Tommy Two Times from the movie Goodfellas. I liked it.

  3. July 29, 2011 3:46 pm

    Ugh, no way would I dare empty my purse. I am scared what I would find. It does double duty as a diaper bag, which lends to the grossness factor. Great, now I feel like I need to go clean my purse.

    One more thing…how do you not need deodorant? I have to buy the Dove CLINICAL kind! Maybe it is just a Houston humidity thing. But I did feel oddly jealous when I read that you don’t need it.

    • July 29, 2011 4:00 pm

      I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to clean your purse but my posting options were critically limited. It was either going to be What’s In My Purse or Random Nonsense.

      Also, I do use deodorant sometimes! If that makes you feel better…

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