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Let’s Analyze Some Lyrics & Look At Some Really Unnecessary Illustrations.

July 5, 2011

My cd case has gone missing. (Yes, I realize it’s 2011 and I’m still listening to mixed cds. For the record, I cannot find my iPod, in case you were thinking about judging me.) I found a stack of cds shoved into the glove compartment and for some reason felt compelled to put in the one aptly titled Country Music.

It, indeed, had nothing but country music on it.

However, I got to song number six and I heard the familiar tune that I was slightly obsessed with in 7th grade, “The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia.” A) This is a weird song for anyone to be obsessed with, let alone a 12 year old. B) Repeat A.

Being so much older and wiser I sat and listened to the lyrics which were met with a resounding, WTF? Let’s have a look-see, shall we?

He was on his way home from Candletop
Been two weeks gone, and he’d thought he’d stop
At Web’s and have him drink ‘fore he went home to her

Starting out normal, right? Let’s take note that this guy’s only been gone for two weeks.

Andy Wolloe said hello, and he said hi, what’s doin’?
Wo said ” Sit down I got some bad news, and it’s gonna hurt”
He said “I’m your best friend and you know that’s right
But your young bride aint’t home tonight
Since you been gone she’s been seeing that Amos boy Seth”

It took me years to realize that Wolloe was Andy’s last name. Before then I’m pretty sure I just mumbled something just to make it appear that I knew every word to this song. So, poor John Doe (what we shall call the unnamed man in this tragic tale) has been gone a mere two weeks(!!!) before his wife starts shacking up with another man. Moral of the story: Wifey’s a whore. I’ve illustrated how I feel like this played out with the help of Microsoft Paint:

They serve drinks in those paper cones in this bar.

At first you’re thinking this Wolloe fellow’s a good guy. Letting him know that his wife is cheating on him had to take some serious balls. But then he follows up with THIS!

Now he got mad and he saw red
Andy said “boy don’t lose your head
Cause to tell you the truth I’ve been with her myself”

YEAH! Andy’s been sleeping with her too! What kind of friend is that?! My only other observation so far is that the wife must have been doing nothing else but sleeping with other men. The guy was only gone two weeks! Then we have the chorus:

That’s the night that the lights went out in Georgia
That’s the night that they hung an innocent man
Well don’t trust your soul to no back woods southern lawyer
Cause the judge in the town’s got bloodstains on his hands

To this day I have no idea if Georgia was having some electrical issues or if it’s supposed to represent how the light of justice went out. Either way, they are still hanging people in Georgia and this can’t really be legal, can it?

Well, Andy got scared and left the bar
Walking on home cause he didn’t live far you see
Andy didn’t have many friends, and he just lost him one.

I bet Andy doesn’t get many tips as a bartender. Also, did he have a backup? He apparently just leaves when ever the urge strikes him. No wonder nobody likes this guy!

Brother thought his wife must’ve left town
So he went home and finally found the only thing
Daddy had left him and that was a gun

This couple is terrible at communication. And this guy’s dad sucked.

Slipping through the back woods quiet as a mouse
Came upon some tracks too small for Andy to make
He looked through the screen at the back porch door
And he saw Andy lying on the floor
In a puddle of blood
And he started to shake

This guy clearly had no intention of following through with his murder… He’s shaking at the sight of a dead body. Andy just really needed to lock his doors. This is a fail on both of their parts.

The Georgia patrol was a-makin’ their rounds
So he fired a shot just to flag ’em down
A big bellied sheriff grabbed his gun and said
“Why’d you do it”

Brother! What are you *THINKING?* Hey, guys, I know there’s a dead body on the floor and I’m standing here with a gun in the middle of nowhere so I think I’ll just fire a shot into NOWHERE. You know, just to flag somebody down. Fool.

(I don’t know why I feel like this post needs illustrations. I really don’t.)

The judge said guilty in a make believe trial
Slapped the sheriff on the back with a smile and said
“Supper’s waiting at home and I got to get to it”

The guy was hungry. He couldn’t be bothered with JUSTICE.

That’s the night that the lights went out in Georgia
That’s the night that they hung an innocent man
Well don’t trust your soul to no back woods southern lawyer
Cause the judge in the town’s got blood stains on his hands

Georgia is still having electrical problems. And let’s be honest, the guy didn’t voluntarily trust his soul to a backwoods Southern lawyer. He was just an idiot. An idiot who did everything he could to indicate himself in the murder of a crappy bartender with no friends.

Well they hung my brother before I could say
The tracks he saw while on his way
To Andy’s house and back that night were mine
And his cheatin wife had never left town
And that’s one body that’ll never be found
You see little sister don’t miss when she aims her gun

Does the sheriff in this town just carry a makeshift noose with him at all times? I am finding so many problems with this song now that I’m laying it out. Originally, I was going to focus on how stupid the people in the story were but now! Now I can’t deny that there are lots of things that just aren’t plausible. Also! This family is full of murderers! Why is she so concerned with her brother’s cheating wife? I would think this is something a stern talking to and a divorce could fix, but that’s me. Maybe I’m in the minority.

After that last twist we hear the chorus two more times. Yes, Georgia is still having electrical issues. They’re still hanging people on the spot. I’m still coming to grips with the fact that I could have easily turned into a murderer with the little moral in this story. Thank God, Hanson came along in a few years to shove me down that road of sugary sweet pop.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. July 5, 2011 3:33 pm

    What makes you think Andy is the bartender? It doesn’t really say that in the song. Maybe he was just hanging at the bar when “brother’ walked in and that’s why they had the conversation. Maybe Andy was the town drunk, which would also explain the zero friends. I think your first illustration is flawed if that is the case. Should be more of a picture of two guys having a drink (Andy and “brother”) while the bartender, anonymous, looks on and rolls his eyes.

    On another point: why the hell do I care?

    And finally, how apt that you wrote a blog post about the miscarriage of JUSTICE today, of all days. It is almost like you are psychic!

  2. July 5, 2011 4:26 pm

    In my head, Andy remains the bartender. A crappy bartender who bails on his shift early. That is Andy Wolloe.

    I like my story that way.

    Plus, my blog doesn’t make sense otherwise and I’d have to go back and change things and I’m lazy.

    The Casey Anthony Case –> That was some bullshit. (Professional Opinion.) My heart is sad.

  3. Emily permalink
    July 5, 2011 10:41 pm

    #1 – Do you ever work at work? #2 – I’m pretty impressed with your illustrations.

  4. July 6, 2011 8:37 am

    Emily, I am an excellent multi-tasker. I was working AND writing this blog post. As for my illustrations, thank you. I’m thinking about selling them in a local art show.

  5. July 6, 2011 1:15 pm

    The paint illustrations are the best part of this post. Wait…not like I’m saying it was crap otherwise. I just like seeing your drawing interpretation of the lyrics…and the paper cone cups at the bar.

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