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I Survived Child Friendly Vacation 2011 & All I Got Were These Awesome Pictures

June 30, 2011

The vacation post! This is it! Hold on to your seats, kiddies!

Totally kidding. Well, I mean, it is the vacation post but it’s mainly going to include a LOT of photos and mindless chatter on my end. Feel free to just browse photos if that’s your style. I won’t be offended.

The above pictures is the cast of characters I’m working with for this sordid tale (Emily, Jon, their little boy Sam, Mike’s sister Gwen, her two girls Hanna and Sara, me, Mike and Evie…) And by sordid I mean, I may have been slightly tipsy one night after 3 beers at dinner. I know. I’m such a wild child. Everyone had so much fun. It was relaxing, it was beautiful, our house was INSANELY awesome. Just an all around great trip. I want to go back.

We ate delicious food all week, whether it be out at a restaurant or having Stu (or Jon as some of you others know him) whip us up some delicious steak and lobster tails. (What?! Yeah.)

We didn’t let Mike cook a lot… Reasons are apparent.

After dinner one night we decided to take the girls to hunt for crabs on the beach. This required flashlights. Unfortunately for Gwen and myself, these flashlights were “shake flashlights.” As in you had to shake them to get them to charge… That lead to the above picture.

You know it’s true, unconditional love when I took my child to search for crabs. Those things are just like spiders and the thought of walking on the beach in the dark and having one of them scurry across my bare foot is enough to give me nightmares. But I did it. REMEMBER THIS, EVIE.

I’d like to say this trip was a good learning lesson on the creatures dwelling in the wild kingdom of Florida. In reality, I think this lizard was on it’s last leg because all it did was barely open it’s mouth and sloooowly hiss at me when I picked it up. That guy didn’t even try to run when I grabbed him.

This is when I exposed all the children to possible Lizard Flu. They didn’t seem to mind.

Mike and Jon went on a fishing trip one day with Jon’s family who were staying a mere 15 minutes away and if you can’t tell, Mike was in charge of his camera the whole time. What does that mean you ask? Well, it means that Mike makes it appear that he was alone on this trip.(ALSO: I’d just like to point out that it appears my boyfriend is sporting a Burt Reynolds-ish mustache in this picture. That didn’t happen. Unless he grew one and shaved it off WHILE deep sea fishing…)

And that he caught all of those himself… I told him he was going to have to work on his camera skills.

I would also appreciate it if he would stop placing his hand on my belly while taking pictures. It does one of two things. It either a) makes people think I’m possibly pregnant (I’m not) or b) just points out how chubby my belly really is. Thanks, honey.

Mike and I took Evie and Hanna to this place called Baytowne Warf one night and holy cow, this place was like Mardi Gras for kids! If they would have allowed me inside the giant human hamster balls I would’ve been all over that shiz.

There were rope courses. (My child flipped out and forced the attendant to walk her all the way back down. So, you know, that was fun.)

There were giant checker boards and unintentionally inappropriate background phrases.

There was free face painting that required every last bit of my patience. I stood in line for over an hour to let her do this because she is in love with stuff like this. We collected medals at the end of the evening for Best Attitude. The guy behind us who was quoting Bible verses (about how those who are patient get just rewards from the Lord. I don’t think Jesus considers face painting a “just reward” but I dunno… I guess I could be wrong) to his whiny son and saying things like, “Well it’s just ALL of these little girls wanting this done and their parents are letting them run off and have fun while they stand in line. So, that’s why it’s not fair. You don’t really see how many people are waiting.” I let Hanna and Mike go get something to eat and said Evie and I would hold the line. I would have been fine if the guy hadn’t REPEATEDLY gone on and on about how unfair it all was. So, when it was Evie’s turn I told her to take as loooooong as she wanted to pick out a design.

We also got to make free jellyfish lanterns! All the while Mommy and Mike got to enjoy a frosty adult beverage. I’m telling you guys, this place was awesome. (Thanks to Meredith for finding out the name so we could find it!)

Despite the blazing heat and even though my child refused to participate in the hamster balls (she has a thing about noise and blowing up the ball was more than she could take) I still declare our little adventure to Baytowne Warf a success.

We were that group of people who did Wear White at the Beach Pictures. (OF COURSE WE WERE.) I don’t care how overdone it is, I love it. Look at my babies! How could you disapprove of that picture? You can’t. I refuse to believe you couldn’t be swayed by such sweetness. Even the Grinch liked it. (I sent him a copy.)

Also, for the record, we wore sun screen religiously all week. My child could stand near the window on a cloudy day and get a tan.

You would think after 29 years, Emily and I would get tired of one another but eh, we just constantly keep the other around. It works out well, I suppose. That whole “lifelong friend” thing.

This EASILY tops the charts of best vacations ever. It was exactly what I needed and I really couldn’t have shared it with better people. In fact, I think we may just do it all again next year.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Emily permalink
    June 30, 2011 2:02 pm

    I concur, in the top 3 vacations ever! Thanks for stealing my pictures so people know that I was actually there.

    • July 1, 2011 7:59 am

      You were essential to the blog post. Otherwise, people would be wondering who’s little boy that was.

  2. July 25, 2011 3:36 pm

    They absolutely should have made up for the facepainting line by letting parents in the hamster balls. Those things are awesome!

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