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The Quote Book

June 9, 2011

I love a good self-deprecating post. I find joy in making fun of myself. My mother hates that about me. For example, I had a super large head as a baby (I technically have a super large head as an adult but I feel like because I’m adult-sized it’s no longer that noticeable) and my brother and I always like to joke about how it looks like in every picture I’m about to tumble over because my head weighs so much. It drives Brenda insane.

But anyways… Back to my point, making fun of myself. Well, friends, I finally found something that was so cringe-worthy I honestly debated even letting you all in on my little secret because seriously, Whitney… WTF. I asked Sarah and she said it was hilarious but I debated… a lot. Because if nothing else, this makes me look like a total moron. BUT! Who am I to deny you all a good laugh at my expense so here goes!

So, as the Great Garage Sale of 2011 gets under way I dug up one of my old quote books. When we were in college at UK, Sarah and I always kept blank journals shoved in our purses and whenever a quote really “spoke” to us, we would hastily scribble it down. You know, to look back on later in case a situation ever arose where we needed that quote. I imagine this happened a lot. Someone has this really profound statement and here I am, WAIT. Let me grab my quote book.

Now, when I imagine someone pretentious enough to have a quote book, I imagine someone who may be somewhat angry at the world and just thinks they’re cooler than everyone else. We werent’ like that. We were actually your typical college kids. We had fake IDs, we were in a sorority, I mean, we did college right. (We weren’t like typical monogram-everything-in-sight sorority girls but we didn’t sit around in  coffee shops being angry and feeling too cool for school all the time. We drank a lot. Does that help?)

BUT. This is a page from my quote book.

*Sigh… I was an idiot. Let’s dissect.

1) I’m ok with Cyrano being in there but let’s be honest, I didn’t just randomly read that by my own choosing. That was required reading from one of my Literature classes. I like how I pretended that I was smart enough to just know that quote. Like it just came to me off the top of my head. Or maybe, as I was doing some leisurely reading at a coffee shop, I decided that yes, I must write this quote down for one day, I’ll use it.

2) EDWIN MCCAIN. This is where I start to get embarrassed. Because, come on! How girly is that?! How STUPID is that?! I imagine I sat in my dorm room writing that quote and hoping (PRAYING) that my boyfriend would one day dedicate that song to me. (Update: He didn’t. However, he did write me the most dramatic letter of all time that I found lovingly pressed into my quote book about how I should follow my dreams and that he would love me for eternity no matter what choices* I made with my life. He even wrote me a song. Eh, we broke up a few months later. So much for eternity!)

3) Oh. My. Gosh. WHAT. No, really. WHAT. There is just so much wrong with me a) quoting Master P at all and b) QUOTING THAT LINE. Do they, Whitney? Does everybody need a backup plan? So, let’s take note. I have a quote from Cyrano de Bergerac and Master P on the same page. AND! And! I had to edit myself because I did not use the radio edit version of whatever song that is. In retrospect, I imagine this was some sort of inside joke. (Please, God. Please let it have been an inside joke.) Otherwise, 19 Year Old Whitney deserved to have no friends.

4) If you know me at all, you know how I am about sap. I hate it. I’m not mushy romantic and these things you all call “feelings?” I’m adverse to them. Let’s all operate on sarcasm and humor! None of this stuff people call “emotions.” This last quote is a favorite for those people I tend to get so annoyed with on Facebook and Twitter. (What if I linked to those people there? The ones who annoy me? I didn’t, but I got a good chuckle out of considering it.) And just how I highly doubt Marilyn Monroe was responsible for all those quotes that girls love to post on Facebook and Twitter (Girls, think long and hard. Do you really think someone just followed Ms. Monroe around and wrote down what she said? No. They didn’t. And come on! She was NOT that wise about men. Ah, I could go on, but I won’t), I just don’t feel like someone named Ricky Lee Jones came up with that quote that I so lovingly wrote down in my quote book. Why? Because that quote doesn’t seem all that awesome now let alone when this Ricky Lee Jones supposedly said it! Who was sitting beside Ricky and said, “Hey! Let’s write that down! That was good! You really DON’T know when you’re making a memory, Ricky! Three cheers for Ricky!” And then they had a parade for him. It just didn’t happen. I’d bet a million dollars.

SO, just one more embarrassing notch in my college belt. The Quote Book.

It’s a wonder people still even talk to me.

*My “choices” he was talking about? From what I could gather from the letter it was following my Mom’s rules in order to keep my VW Beetle… Mom’s rules involved not getting my tongue pierced… I did not listen. The car got taken away. Two weeks later the tongue ring was out and I was back in the driver’s seat. Brenda… She’s a fierce negotiator. 

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 9, 2011 2:14 pm

    LOL

    I wish I knew where my quote book went…

  2. June 9, 2011 2:33 pm

    So funny & sadly reminds me of a prayer journal I kept in my early teens where EVERY single entry was dedicated to asking our Father to find me a boyfriend. So cringe-worthy. Missy & I also wrote down the words to entire songs from the Master-P ‘Ghetto D’ soundtrack. We were THAT cool. I am embarrassed for my teen-self 😉

  3. Emily permalink
    June 11, 2011 11:53 pm

    Wasn’t there a quote book where we wrote down funny things people said? (Most of which when we were intoxicated) I’m thinking maybe Boo or Stephanie or Jennifer S. or someone like that kept it….

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