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Where I Admit That I’m a Little Jealous.

May 4, 2011

When I was a kid, we never got to do anything really cool in school. I mean, our costumes for any plays were made out of construction paper. (Yeah, you try portraying a deer accurately with construction paper antlers!) Our talent show was always a bust. Mainly because I tried out every. single. year. and never made it. They had no idea what they were missing. My routine to Hanging Tough, completely choreographed by yours truly, WAS awesome. I don’t care what stupid Mr. Garrison had to say. He wouldn’t have known talent if it smacked him in the face. We went on a couple of field trips. The one cool one I remember was the zoo but then some kid swallowed a bee by accident when it flew into his soda and you know how it goes. It’s all fun and games until someone goes into anaphylactic shock.

However, the times, they are a’changin’. Evie’s class gets to do all sorts of cool things but the biggest thing that I’m jealous of is the fact that they get a class pet*. Yes, Cupcake, the class bunny lives with them during the week. Her teacher brings him in and the kids take turns getting to care for him. I LOVED animals as a kid. This would have been my dream. A real live bunny in class! But alas, it was not meant to be.

A couple of weeks ago, I learned that they were doing a unit on eggs. They had a dozen eggs in the classroom with an incubator and all the kids were anxiously awaiting the little beaks to start pecking their way out of the eggs. And Monday, they arrived. Much to the delight of the 11 five year olds who just had to stare at boring, old eggs for two weeks straight.

I admit it. I was jealous. WHY didn’t I ever get to watch chicks hatch out of an egg? I feel robbed, as if I’ve been done an injustice, if you will. And since, Marty McFly and Doc Brown have yet to show up with my time machine DeLorean there’s no way I’ll ever get to see it happen! I mean, I could, what with the internet and all, but still, 30 year old Whitney will not find it NEARLY as magical as 5 year old Whitney would have.

Of course, with the chicks came the incessant pestering for a chick of our very own to live in our house and please, please, pleeeease can we get one, Mom??? I finally had to break it to her. No, we will not ever, ever, EVER have a chicken living INSIDE our house. Why? Because they’re dirty creatures who will someday be responsible for a zombie virus outbreak. Much like my friend, Christina, uses “Schindler’s List” to put her kid’s whining into perspective, I use the zombie virus outbreak threat to reel in my daughter’s constant requests for animals that aren’t really pets. (See: Mice, Chicken, etc.)

That’s just Parenting 101 right there.

*I just remembered that we DID have a class pet in 7th grade. A cockatiel named… I can’t remember… I just remember that I got to take care of it for a weekend and that somehow sparked a good two year obsession with my family and their love of the birds. We ended up buying one and naming it Atticus (To Kill a Mockingbird. Yes, 12 year old Whitney was a huge, huge nerd.) In recollection, that bird was awesome. It could talk! How is that NOT awesome?

One Comment leave one →
  1. May 4, 2011 10:42 am

    I know exactly what you mean. The only class pet we had was when I was in fifth grade and it was a freaking praying mantis in our science class. How does that even qualify as a pet? Evie doesn’t know how great she has it… đŸ™‚

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