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The Mouse In Our House

April 21, 2011

We had a mouse.

Like running free… just like he owned the place.

You all, I own a cat. These things shouldn’t happen, but I digress. Anyways, just let it be known that Michael doesn’t do well with mice. How did I discover this? Well, sit back, have a drink, and let me explain.

Last night, right before I went to bed, I stopped off in the bathroom to wash my face and I noticed Rocky, the cat, pacing back and forth in front of the cabinets in the bathroom. I immediately knew what was going on except for some reason I imagined that it wasn’t a mouse and instead a giant mutant spider, living in my cabinets, breeding it’s giant devil spider army to come and destroy us all. Similar to this:

(Seriously, what if this was in your basement? I’m pretty sure your only option is to burn your entire house down. That’s what I’d do anyways.)

I cautiously opened the cabinets and looked around while Mike hovered behind me whispering, “Do you see it? Is it in there??” There was no mouse to be found. I even let Rocky climb up in the cabinets just to see if he knew about something I didn’t but alas, no mouse. I shrugged my shoulders and went to bed because it was 11pm and well, what am I going to do about a mouse that late at night? Nothing.

Fast forward to two hours later and Mike shaking me awake, “IT’S IN THE BATHROOM! ROCKY HAS IT!”

Do you have any idea how jarring it is to hear “IT’S IN THE BATHROOM!” as your woken from a dead sleep? I shot out of bed thinking that there was a monster in my bathroom. (Why no, I have no idea where my daughter gets her overactive imagination. Why do you ask?) I got up and went into the bathroom to discover the following things laying on the floor:

          1) My cat. (Useless animal)

          2)My grandmother’s favorite serving bowl.

          3)Mike’s dignity

Ok, I’m kidding on that last one. It was with him… perched on top of the side of the tub while he held the toilet plunger like a weapon.

I looked quizzically at the bowl, laughed heartily at Michael and then shooed the mouse out from the corner and firmly clamped the bowl down on top of him. (Yes, Mamaw, you’ll be happy to know I’m putting that bowl to good use.)

And that was the little guy’s home for the night. I shut the door to the bathroom so he was safe from the paws of Rocky (which, really, what was he going to do? Paw him to death? Yes. Probably.)

This morning when I got up, he was still in there, just staring at me like, “What the hell, lady? I was just hanging out in your cabinets, testing your products, laughing at your cat.” Evie immediately thought we had a new pet. (CAN WE KEEP HIM?! I WANT TO NAME HIM RAINBOW!) I crushed her dreams, like a good parent, informing her that while yeah, he’s kinda cute, he’s diseased and filled with a zombie virus.

This is how she spent her morning while I got ready. Ignore my child’s dirty laundry on the floor.

I somehow managed to let him out of the bowl as I tried to scoop him up on a dustpan to set him outside and he got another few minutes of panicked cardio as he darted around the bathroom before leaping (leeeeaping!) on to a towel and I covered him up and took him outside. Free to run in the wild.

But let’s be honest, he was probably immediately eaten by one of the many cats that roam my street. You know, a cat that knows their purpose in life. Unlike mine who’s just a big baby.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. April 21, 2011 9:36 am

    We had a mouse once at our old house: it was discovered one morning when I wasn’t home & my husband admits to perching on the arm of the couch in fear. Not being as humane as you, we set out poison to kill it. Probably a smart thing to do since we had 3 tiny children crawling around the house, you know. But they all seem fine now.

    Also, our daughters may as well be twins. Besides the sleep thing, and the thinking they are so pretty thing (well, they ARE), Cate lays on my bathroom floor in that exact same position every morning, discarding her clothes randomly like she owns the place until she finally feels like getting dressed.

    • April 21, 2011 9:46 am

      Mike was like, “I could just step on it when you lift the bowl up and crush his head!”

      UM, NO.

      Evie just discards clothing like a snakeskin as soon as she gets home from school. I can find her by her trail of clothes through the house… It’s like her and Cate have been having secret meetings about these things without us knowing…

  2. April 21, 2011 9:40 am

    Oh. My. Gawd.

    I would be right up there on the edge of the tub with Mike! When he said, “It’s in the bathroom!” I wanted to close out the post so I didn’t have to even THINK about it!!! EEEEEK.

    (I hate mice)


    (also, the pic of the spiders will give me nightmares. Thank you for that.

    • April 21, 2011 9:47 am

      Seriously, I would just burn my house down if I happened upon that scene in the corner of my ceiling.

  3. April 21, 2011 9:49 am

    I would have DIED!!! I will be honest, when I read the title and then saw the first picture I thought you had an insane night of mouse chasing and a crazy spider invasion. I got a little nervous and had decided I may never visit your house again. Glad to find out that wasn’t the case.

    • April 21, 2011 9:52 am

      Meredith, if there had been a spider invasion like THAT I would not have been alive to post this story. As it stands, there hasn’t been a spider invasion (YET) and the mouse was put outside this morning. Feel free to visit anytime.

  4. April 21, 2011 10:06 am

    My cousin, Sarah, keeps talking about your blog. Had to come see for myself today and I’m glad I did. Too funny!! I’d freak out a little about that spider! And I’m not even afraid of spiders! The mouse, ehh, I’d probably teeter somewhere between you and Mike. Thanks for the laugh’

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