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April 13, 2011

I could’ve also titled this post “Horrified,” “Embarrassed,” or even “I Gave Birth to a Tiny Hoodlum and Now I’m Telling You About It.”  As you know from the 37 posts I’ve written thus far, Evie has been having issues with temper tantrums lately revolving around sleeping in her own bed. It’s a huge shock for me because up until now, five years down the road, Evie has NOT been the kid who throws tantrums. Evie has always listened. I’m the person with the kid who everyone marvels at because “She is seriously so good!” And I would beam with pride and raise my iron fist because yes, I will conquer the tiniest of beings with my rules.

Really, it has nothing to do with me. I got lucky. Evie was just a really good kid…until last month. Maybe it’s been two months? I honestly don’t remember. Fate’s biting me in the ass too hard for me to think clearly. The temper tantrums and screaming that she doesn’t love me anymore, well, this is new and uncharted territory because, I’m sorry, excuse me??? You don’t love me? The one who BIRTHED you? Unacceptable. Also: Look at me! Freezing in action because I have NO idea what to do with you when you say those mean things except maybe cry, because… WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? Here, have a seat in this time out chair and I will talk to you when you’re not being so hateful.

And I get it. I know she’s testing me. It’s because I’m making her do something she whole heartedly does NOT want to do (sleep in her own bed.) My mother, God love her heart, isn’t helping the situation because she spoils my child to ends of the earth and I am constantly having to be the Unfun One. It’s making life difficult to say the least. Thank the dear Lord above that these issues only appear about an hour or so before bed time. The rest of the time, she’s sweet and funny and loving.

This morning though, her teacher stopped me. I knew Evie had gotten a time out yesterday which isn’t really a big deal. She’s a very, shall we say chatty, child. This often lands her in the time out seat during story time or prayer time. However, this was definitely NOT the reason she stopped me this morning.

“Uh, did Evie tell you she got a time out yesterday?”

“Yes, she did but she didn’t tell me why. I assumed it was because she was talking too much.”

“Well… No, that’s not why. You see, yesterday in gym class Evie wanted a ball from another child and when that child didn’t give her the ball, Evie screamed, “FINE! You can keep your damn ball!”

Except, she whispered it and I have the WORST time hearing when people whisper so I made her repeat it. Yes, I made the very Christian lady at Evie’s very Christian school repeat the curse word my child screamed out in gym class yesterday.

I. Wanted to. Die.

I immediately started stammering, “Well, I don’t think she got that from me! I don’t use that word!” Which, honestly (and I know you guys are probably rolling your eyes) she DIDN’T get that from me! Damn is not my cuss word. I won’t go into my cuss word of choice but let’s just leave it at the fact that “damn” is not it.

I slumped my way out of school, head down, feeling like I was the one who just gotten scolded for doing something wrong. So, basically, it was just like every day of my life in high school.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 13, 2011 10:05 am

    I would have had a really hard time not cracking a smile when the teacher told me that. While very embarrassing, it is pretty funny.

  2. April 14, 2011 10:34 am

    Nothing like getting in trouble in kindergarten for cussing in gym class…looks like she is getting you prepared for some fun teenage years! 🙂

  3. April 14, 2011 5:33 pm

    My favorite part is that you made the christian teacher repeat it! Ahhh hahahaha!

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