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If I could come up with a good title today, it’d be right here.

March 9, 2011

Cranky.

That’s really the only way to describe me today and I don’t even know why. I’m guessing it’s from lack of sleep and being surrounded by sick people. Combine that with my constant paranoia that I’m getting sick and well, it just stresses me out. The webbing between my fingers is so dried out from all the handwashing and I’ve been chugging Emergen-C like it’s my job.

Today also happens to be the first day of Lent and while I’m not Catholic I’m debating on giving something up just to better myself. My first thought was I would give up soda… then I laughed at myself because, well, that’s just ridiculous. Then I considered giving up sweets and I laughed even harder. THEN I thought about giving up cussing and well, just no. I know I NEED to but that task is just setting me up for failure so I’m just going to work on that in general. I’m very good about holding back in front of Evie with the cussing but any other time you’d think I was a damn sailor. (See my point?)

My final decision is to give up… wait for it… road rage.

Fine. Go ahead. Laugh away, readers. Laugh all you want but this is my goal. If you know me, then you know that I pretty much turn into a psychotic maniac when I get stuck in traffic. I am CONVINCED nobody on this planet (and especially Lexington) knows how to drive but me. Get me in some rain with these fools and I pretty much have an aneurysm…repeatedly.

If you’re a child of the 80s (possibly 70s? maybe 60s? I should really check the date on what I’m about to tell you but I’m lazy*) then you might remember the video clip they used to show you in Traffic School with Goofy (yes, Disney’s Goofy advised me how to drive correctly.) He was perfectly calm Mr. Walker until he got behind the wheel… then he became Mr. Wheeler. Mr. Wheeler does every possible thing to demonstrate what a person with road rage does. I become Ms. Wheeler when I get into my car and it just has to stop.

(If this video doesn’t play on my site, PLEASE go watch it on Youtube. It’s a true story based on my life… I’m sure of it. At least the road rage parts, anyways.)

I do not need to use my horn so much. (Seriously. I pound on that thing at LEAST once a day.)

I really should start using my entire hand to wave and not just one particular finger.

And most of all, I really need to stop yelling at other drivers because a) I look ridiculous and b) they can’t hear me and I’m totally wasting my breath.

So, there it is, folks. My declaration. My statement. I’m giving up road rage for Lent. Wish me luck! Also: Stay out of my way!

*Found out that cartoon was made in the 50s… Which makes it even more hysterical for some reason.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. March 9, 2011 1:09 pm

    They still play this in traffic school. Keep up acting all crazy with your road rage and you shall see!

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