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Prison Break

March 3, 2011

I try to give my beasts a happy and comfortable home. I feed them. I bathe them. (Well, I bathe Russell. Rocky would not appreciate such efforts.) I love on them on a regular basis and still… Rocky feels the need to escape at any given moment.

Luckily, he only gets out into the garage most of the time where he hides under my car and refuses to come out like an asshole.


In case you're worried I randomly drug my cat, he'd just gotten declawed. (SUE ME. I like my couches.)

Today, however, we had a bigger problem on our hands. Today was the day Rocky snuck past me at the front door as I let Russell out and bolted into the front yard. I completely froze because, “HOLY CRAP… WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?” I’ve never been faced with this situation.

We both just stood there, eyeballing the other, very similar to what one would imagine a duel to start off like. Then…it was like he completely lost his mind.

The open space! The freedom! It was all too much for his little cat brain to take! He darted into my neighbor’s yard where I ran after him. He spread all four legs out and laid down, flipping his head back and forth, then jumped up and ran around back. I followed all the while yelling at Evie, “Get back in the house! Stand by the door! It’s too cold!!” So let’s get this picture straight… My cat is completely wigging out and running back and forth from my front yard to my back yard, I’m chasing after him in a dress, tights and heels AND I’m screaming at my daughter to get inside . (Sidenote: My neighbors love me.)

I felt like you all needed an illustration to REALLY understand how psychotic he was acting. This doesn't do it justice. In fact, it's awful.

After all this, he flew back to the front door and began pawing and howling to be let back in.  So basically, he got out there and was all, “WHAT IS THIS?! Overload. Overload. SHUTTING DOWN.” [Robot voice.]

So, you know, that was MY morning. Typical.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 3, 2011 7:22 pm

    I TOTALLY forgot that Rocky looks exactly like Sammie! **LOVE HIM!**

    (sorry about the prison break)

  2. Emily permalink
    March 3, 2011 9:12 pm

    This is why I will never own a cat. I do not do well with animals that get all schizo-acting. Freaks me out! Thank you for re-affirming my decision.

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