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Let’s try this again, shall we?

February 15, 2011

I know. You’ve heard it before. I’m back! Look at me blogging again! Well. I apologize. I got sucked into other things. Mainly things that weren’t blogging. But I really did miss my blog. I just missed having a place where I could write about whatever.

So, let’s see… Today is Tuesday and we all know Tuesdays are universally known as being the most boring day of the week. (Wait, you guys didn’t know that? Huh. Learn something new every day don’t you?) So to spice things up let me just tell you about the blatant disregard of the unspoken Salad Bar Rules I witnessed the other day.

I know some of you may be slightly phobic about germs making their cozy little homes amongst the carrots and peas on your local salad bar and I would say, you are correct to do so. Nobody wants a case of Salad Bar Food Poisoning. However, the Kroger on Richmond Road has always kept theirs ridiculously clean so it’s not like I ever worried about it too much. That is, until last Thursday.

I innocently meandered into the store to get something that wasn’t wrapped in greasy wax paper for lunch and made a beeline for the salad bar. It was only 11:30 so I knew it wasn’t going to be busy over there yet. I was correct in my assumption except for the two old ladies who were wandering around the salad bar, fixing a rather large salad. They seemed to be of sound mind and body and they certainly seemed old enough to know better than to do what occurred next.

I was holding back, because nobody likes to be crowded when they’re crafting their masterpiece, so they weren’t aware I was there. Sister A was busy loading up on carrots (and not to be all judgey but she TOTALLY overdid it on the carrots… I mean, there is an art to creating the perfect balance of flavor and price. Those things charge by the pound. It’s a learned skill.) and Sister B is just kind of staring at the entire buffet. I’m really not sure what she was doing.

Anyways, Sister B slyly looks over to Sister A and in one swift movement takes the bacon bit tongs and shoves them in her mouth.

I’m sorry. Did you catch that?

The lady used the public bacon bit tongs as her own personal spoon. As in she had them inside her mouth. As in her saliva was totally coating the tongs when she shoved them BACK into the bacon bits.

I swear to you I was paralyzed with shock. I didn’t know what to do. Do I get an attendant?! ( She’s old!) Do I vow to never eat another salad bar again?! (But I love them!) Do I personally whisper to her that this was completely not ok?! (What if she’s crazy and she shanks me with the tongs?!) Nobody else saw but me! Justice was completely in my hands!

So, instead… I did what I usually do when faced with situations that usually require some sort of authority figure to step in: Nothing. (Snitches get stitches. Everybody knows that.) I stood back, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, and watched as they walked away with their perfect salad.

Then, I got incredibly annoyed. My entire salad bar experience had been tainted. I now looked at all the delicious toppings, wary of what mouths had been slobbering all over their tongs. I looked down at my half-made salad with its pitiful ensemble of lettuce, carrots and chickpeas. I hadn’t even gotten to the good stuff yet and now I didn’t know if I even wanted anything or if I should just throw the entire thing out.  I ended up just taking what I had made so far and left… bacon bit-less and alone.

So, while my day at the salad bar was completely and utterly ruined by crazy old ladies, I at least have somewhat of an entertaining (read: disgusting) story to share with the two people who read this thing. You’re welcome.


3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 15, 2011 9:14 pm

    I love it! I really really love it!

  2. February 15, 2011 9:19 pm

    Completely inappropriate. So the big question is…will you go back???

  3. Amber R. R. permalink
    December 21, 2011 4:16 pm

    I know this is a few months old but I found it and wanted to tell you…
    Seen a guy at my local fresh market the other day eating out of the olive bins, and nut and granola bins… using nothing but his hands to reach and grab each delicious bite. Between bites – he had the roughest cough and runny nose – so he’d use that same hand to get those – naturally…
    I told the manager but of course they couldn’t do anything about it if THEY don’t see it.
    Ugg… why do I leave the house…

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